SKOOLIN'

I came to the realization that I hate school. Although I'm going to college and am going to have at least four more years of schooling, I honestly dread coming to school daily. The majority of teachers are either mean, boring, childish, or simply don't really care about their students. There are those few that do like Mr. George, Mrs. Dorsey, Mrs. Dooher, Mr. Lewis, Mrs. Robi and a couple others. Needless to say it's not a large number in comparison to those teachers that really should've been tele-operators, such as Mrs. Kretow, Mrs. Fixsen, Mrs. Albring, Mr. Gabrielle and many more! I would just like to be encouraged to learn and taught in a manner that's professional but interesting as well. Why must a class be boring in order for you to learn? Take Mr. Hetland's class for example. He is a smart man who teaching skills are moderate but has no imagination or UMPH! It's so boring it makes no sense. The only good time we have is when we debate and that's because the student's dominate the lesson. I wish I had all the good teachers back. The one's where I learned everyday and anticipated arriving to their class...

Im So Stressed!!!

I need to move!!! I really want to get into Wilson Commencement Park but if they don't come through by the middle of April, I'm gonna have to get a regular apartment. I just wish time would really stop. Sometimes I feel like I wish I wasn't here. My daughter is the only reason why I want to stay. I'm so tired of being stressed...

BFFs???

There is a question that still remains mystery to me... Can you have more than one best friend? Personally I think you can. Sometimes you grow equally close to a couple people and feel like their places in your life and heart (no homo) are equal as well. But on the other hand, the word best is most superior. And usually solo. Tell me what you think...

The Golden Fox

You ever just want a nice meal and to have a good time without having to drive a half an hour or more just to get to the restaurant!?! It's as easy as looking around the corner. I just visited a nice, diner-style restaurant called The Golden Fox with my guy and it was great! Wonderful food, calm atmosphere, and inexpensive prices. It's right down the street from our house on Culver so it was literally five minutes away! We left happy and full which is the ideal diner-date for me!!! Check it out sometime...

Stuck B-TW33N a R0CK n A HARD Place

A lot has happened since I last blogged... I was hurt very badly by the least expected person and in the least expected way. My birthday was yesterday. Granted I had fun, but my heart still aches due to the series of events that has occurred this past week. I went to the club Saturday night since my b-day hit at 12. And although I have always been a dancer and like to be the life of the party, I spent the whole time with my boyfriend. Well... ex. Well... idk what he is anymore. My head was saying u shouldn't let this guy have the pleasure of your company but I just wanted to be happy. And despite what he did, that's what I feel when I'm with him. We spent the night in each other's arms and occasionally I'd think, "Run for the hills! You don't want to get hurt again!!!" But the majority of the night was bliss. I felt serene, happy, safe, and above all... LOVED. I believe that he was truly wrong. He knows this. But everybody makes mistakes. I have as well in previous relationships. But this connection we have is too strong. We feel like we're meant to be and I'm not willing to give that up. We're taking time apart, on my call. I need him to experience time without me. To understand the depth of my pain and hurt. And if he truly cares, he'll be waiting. I believe God has created us for each other. He knows that we can grow together and that we make each other better people. God sees that we have already made plans to grow closer to him, with each other. Learning together. All my peoples are telling me to stay away, which is understandable. They don't want to see me get hurt anymore. Yet the decision is mine to make. And I understand the consequences of choosing to believe in our love and him. "Love may be a lot of things, but one thing it certainly is not, is UNSURE!"-Maya Angelo

COMMITTING SUICIDE FOR DUMMIES (bestseller)

WHOA!!! Crazy article. I'm torn between feeling completely disgusted by these acts and kind of sympathizing with the victims and possibly understanding the enablers' views. I don't agree with handing out full-fledged guides to commit suicide, terminal illnesses involved or not. Yet there is a sense of desperation and pain that may cause the ill to desire to not live. Maybe the people who help them kill themselves feels there creating a public service or something. The article gives slight explanation but definitely not justification!!! A natural death may take longer and come with burdens but it was how God planned it to be. That strong of an involvement in the death of approximately 200 people is sickening and unjustifiable.

*The Big Apple*

I'm going to New York City. Manhattan to be exact. I want a different scene but somewhere I wont feel completely alone. Somewhere I have family and can be successful. The busy feel of Manhattan is perfect for me. Corporate yet casual and right around the corner from the places my mom grew up. I've always wondered why everyone else but me wanted to live so far away. NYC is definitely not anyones dream city to live in but mine. I've come to realize it's because I don't like most things others do. I would never live down south because I don't like heat at all. I would rather live in Alaska than Florida! I don't like relaxing, calm areas or scenes because I love the excitement of the city. Always having something to do, programs to be apart of, kids next door to play with my daughter at any time. A sense of family in neighbors. My dream is to go a place that's 8 hours away. Just call me Christina...

READ ME! ... im putting it all out there

For this blog, advice is welcome but not required. On a subject this strong, I know where I go wrong and what role I play in my own personal misery. But still, as many human beings do, I get hurt, and feel sorry for myself. I've been used in almost every relationship I've been in. But I do know it's partially because i give them my all even when they have given me nothing. At times I've given them too much... Or perhaps too much too fast. To be oblivious to one's flaws is common but not a factor in my specific situation. Starting at childhood I have viewed my purpose to be only sexual or close to it, due to the fact that even family has stepped way over the line with me... And as for my ex's, all of them insist on keeping the one aspect of our relationship they benefited most from alive. Our intimacy. Some say it's cause I have that "french toast" which may be but is no excuse, others say it's for us to remain "close" and possibly rebuild, and the others say they "don't know". I find that hard to believe. But the fact still remains that most of MY guys have supposedly fell for me hard, hurt me, and always wanted me back. On their terms and their time. Y??? I'm honestly sick of it. But who to blame but myself for allowing history to continue to repeat itself? I hope one day I'll truly learn and guard my heart and body completely. This seems to be very blunt and bold but I've come to a place in my life where looking at my past doesn't phase me. I have the understanding that it does not reflect my future! I grow older everyday, and with that I grow wiser. 'Til next time...

A BIRTHDAY SURPRISE!

Now we all know birthdays are extremely special to us. It seems to be more than just a celebration of one's day of birth returning, but rather an annual moment where you have a reason to be the center of attention! (lol) My man's B-Day is today and though I'm dealing with alot right now, I desire and intend on making his birthday extra special!!! I've came to a good start by giving him a lil' "love" which consisted of some Victoria Secret and stilettos ;-*... along with a soft, whispered "happy birthday". And I'm sure delivering his gifts first thing in the morning after waking up beside eachother was a nice touch. He liked them and it made me proud to know Im getting to know him more. His likes and dislikes with out him having to express them. I packed his lunch and gave him a huge bear hug and kiss before he headed out. I'll be headed home soon and am thinking about making him a nice dinner (even tho im just beginning to cook) and a giving him a good n hardy massage! I hope this is a birthday he'll never forget!-Maybe it'll inspire him to wanna pamper me on mine, which is THIS SUNDAY!!! *jk/lol*

DSS SUCKS!!!

Remember last year? When it was pure excitement to be an upcoming senior! If we only knew then what we know now!!! This is by far the most stressful year of my life. I didn't feel this much anxiety and discouragement even when I was pregnant and my hormones were through the roof! Right now I live with my guy and am struggling to get into a program for single parents called Wilson Commencement Park. But before I can do that, I need government help of course. I'm a 17, almost 18 year old girl who chose to step up and keep her child when getting pregnant at a young age. I've supported her consistently and now heading into adulthood need some help. Unfortunately the department of social services don't really care about the lives that are in need. My daughter is now a year and a half and they have yet to set me up with a case! It is so painful not being able to provide for her as much as i want but that's why i intend to go to college and pursue a career in advertising so in the future... I CAN!!!

SOAP vs. REALITY Pt3 "The Final Round"

Now in case the previous quiz kinda baffled you, the answer was also Reality. Though situations can be mended, drama this deep can definitely happen in every day life... Especially mine! And now for the last round of S v R. Get ready to think... There's a girl and her mother that have serious difficulties getting along... like a lot of mothers and daughters. But their ongoing altercations one day lead to a brutal fight and police involvement, as well as arrest! Not to mention the four kids all under the age of six involved in the blow-out. The girl gets kicked out of her home and days later gets a phone call from close family... "Ummm, your mother is at the psychiatric hospital. She tried to commit suicide last night!" Cant wait to hear your final responses!!!